Monday, August 27, 2007

The Dai Bus. Or, why Rowling must be a Malayali

"Edai!" - I heard the scream and felt the push and as I flew off the path, I saw a low-slung, pink contraption with bunny-ear-mirrors screeching to a halt exactly where I'd been standing. How could I have forgotten this modernised means of transport for the average Malayali? It has been a while, for sure, and now I couldn't resist.


Trying to retain stability, I hung on to the overhead handle with both hands. But my concept of stability did not account for differences in acceleration between the floor and the roof of Bunny-Ears. At start, my feet rushed ahead of the rest of me; a nice 40-degree angle between sole and crown poured out any feeling of dignity I had left. Thankfully, when the roof decided to catch up, I was somewhat ready for it and came back from about the 110-degree mark itself. Hmm, just slightly out of habit, that's all.


Yank!! 810 degrees round the middle. Or what used to be the middle, it seemed to be on multiple axes and multiple planes at the same time. Anyway, it wasn't a swerve I had experienced in any bus ride, anywhere, ever. No wonder the people of this region swing all possible ways, election-time or otherwise! I wasn't sure what was left of my right - or even where it was. And I'm the only one who is shaken up. My fellow passengers do not seem to realize they had come within 2 paint-coats thickness of being footnotes in a bus-collision report. Oooh, the driving! Wait a minute, I've seen something like this - Prisoner of Azkaban! Hold out your wand-hand, now!! But The Knight Bus, if you remember, changed its contours and Ernie had an easy time of it in his armchair, with no worries about actually pranging his vehicle.

However, this here isn't wizardry, just absolutely top-class driving skills. Skills that cannot be measured by any normal driving tests, but are unerringly spotted by every RTO in God’s Own Country; for without them, there will certainly be many more prangs than vehicles on road. Even so, getting off Bunny-Ears was a relief!

And oh, Joanne, a very Happy Onam to you, too!!

2 comments:

Maya said...

I have not stopped laughing yet... you could not have described it better. I hope you are not all black-n-blue after that 'magical' journey. Have to say though, it will take a mallu who has travelled in buses like these to fully appreciate the gymnastics - more so if the buses are 'limited stops'..i used to think they meant the buses would stop only at limited places till I got on one and found out that the labels actually mean that the bus would stop for a limited time only - most often a millionth of a second!! Hmmm..maybe thats where Rowling got the idea of portkeys!!

Shantaram said...

>> Maya: Agree about the portkey part. There's still a lot of magic in 'Goad's Own Cundry'!